Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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