If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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