Christians are straight up FREAKS
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
