Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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