idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
