Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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