What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
