What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
