How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
