these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
