i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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