sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
