You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
