remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
