I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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