"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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