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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize