Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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