I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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