I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize