i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
