my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the day after is always just damage control
Watching her eat just hurts me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
