Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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