Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize