i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I could make wine with my vomit
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
