I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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