yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
