Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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