I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
