DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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