it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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