I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
