saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
