She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
