omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
