Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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