You really coming over, don't trick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
