census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize