ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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