i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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