worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
