Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
