Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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