i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
