i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
