You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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