Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize