i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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