Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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