So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
