im six kinds of drunk right now
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
