This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
