You're so nebulous sometimes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
