she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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