Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
