I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
