Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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