I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
