If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
