I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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