So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
