i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
bring money and cleavage
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize