Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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