The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
