i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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