I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize