I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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